so i've finally decided that i'm done here. moving! where to; undecided.

damn, just got back not too long ago from visiting hanrui. oh the poor botak boy. =(

just realised that there are lots of things waiting to be accomplished tonight. okay maybe not accomplished, but attempted at least? hah.

note to self: gp essay assignment, maths test, games tee, chinese worksheet, gp newspaper articles. well i guess if i really finish them all, i'll probably die of exhaustion. oh yes, there's also the stupid china IS proposal that i have to redo. did i mention this? my first IS proposal got rejected because (i think) mr gay didn't get the requirements right.

so yeah. REJECTED.

ahh. *pulls hair in frustration*

i'm tired and i want to sleep. i NEED to sleep. had PE this morning, and i think i still stink from it.

AHH.

i wish i could skip school tomorrow. but probably no chance at that happening, since i just took an MC on friday. sheesh.
10:33 PM


i'm currently feeling very sad now, because i just chatted a little with huiwen.

made me realise just how much i miss her, even though neither of us said much.

bahh.
11:40 PM


DAMN.

i guess i'm getting payback for constantly laughing at the a03ers who stay back for gp every monday, because econs starts tomorrow.

and gay is on mc tomorrow.

essentially this means that school ends at 9 freaking am tomorrow, the gates open at 1 freaking pm tomorrow, and econs remedial starts at 5 freaking pm.

do you see the link here?
NEITHER DO I.

i have no bloody idea what is WRONG with the idiots in the timetabling committee. as if giving me such a totally sucky timetable on tuesday isn't enough, gay has to be on mc tomorrow, and econs remedial JUST has to be arranged at FIVE.

pissed off would be an understatement right now. it just doesn't say enough.

and limhuiwen, i miss you too. =(
11:18 PM


OMG LYE HANRUI I WANNA SEE YOU BOTAK!!

not much has been happening recently, besides the fact that mrs koh just said today that she expects an A for gp from me.

it's so sad when i never seem to be able to meet the expectations of the people around me.

when i got my 249 for PSLE in p6, my mum was like: 'but people told me that you should be able to get at least 250. but okay lah.'

during the sec3 mtp session, mr yong told my parents i should have no problems getting 12 points at least. i got 13.

how sad right? bah.

looks like i'll never be good enough, in some way.

but perhaps i should feel loved too, because people keep thinking so highly of me.

i don't expect too much out of myself actually; and this is one of the only things i don't really like about myself. i suppose that's why i'm in tpjc, because i told myself i probably won't be able to take mj's hectic life. okay arguing this way, i brought this all upon myself.

WHY DIDN'T I GO TO POLY, WHY.

and back to my point, i ask too little of myself. yet it's a good feeling to be able to keep meeting your own expectations, you'll feel really good about yourself, hah.

and then you create your own comfort zone, and never break out of it, ever.

goodness, this post has gone way off topic, kinda.

eh lye, send me a photo leh. =p
5:59 PM


B for project work!

given that i've refused to redo my EOM and PI when mrs kum told me too, and that our group's OP has never been seen by mrs kum, i think B is really a feat for me.

alumni's talk was generally well received i guess, yayy. then again, i didn't do much XP.

henry's being an ass by repeatedly telling me where consort's going. henry, you're an ass. hah.
8:55 AM


was it wrong for me to have been tempted to give up?

i know many in the choir have already settled into the decision of pushing forward with the concert without a conductor after today's practice. i may not be in the most comfortable of places, but for the sake of the whole choir and not to seem so outcast-ish, i've *tried* to give it my all today.

then tonight i get a call saying that people are still fighting. was it wrong for me to have been tempted to give up?

i'm going to fight all the way, because there are still people who have faith in us.
because there are people who still believe in our abilities.
because there are people who think that there's something else to be done.
because there are people who haven't given up.
THANK YOU ALL.
10:52 PM


"it's like there's so much work i can't even start."

hahahaha sheryl. you are so funny.
10:55 PM


i try to smile my tears away
i try to keep my cool
oh but one more door gets in my way
i feel like such a fool
trampled and bitter
my heart just wants to bleed and stop believing in me

it feels like nothing is for certain
and that nothing comes for free
when they're lowering the curtain
to the theatre of my dreams
i stumble and i crumble
and i'm sinking to my knees, but you
you cradle me

you keep me flying
you keep me smiling
you keep me safe in a crazy world

-

who would like to volunteer to keep the choir safe in this crazy school.
12:07 AM


FUCK.

how can the principal even THINK of closing down the choir? i know right now it's just one of the many options, but how can they even bring this up.

choir isn't supposed to be 'just another CCA', it's supposed to be a tradition. you tell me, which jc doesn't have a choir in this day and age?

i think i've said too much too many people already, i'm kind of lazy to repeat myself so many times. but i am NOT happy about it.

thank you to wife and henry who have been willing to listen to me ramble, as well as jasmine. woots, i think you people totally rock, unlike the principal and whoever is bent on getting rid of the choir.

and oh, this whole saga just makes me want to go to china with the choir even more, just to show how much i hate the decision. but they probably won't let me go, given my sucky results.
8:27 PM


i do not appreciate people judging me for who i am, i'll do it my way, thank you very much. if i want your opinion, i'll ask. if not, shut up.

if you think this post is directed at you, you're probably not the one i'm refering to.
6:41 PM